Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Forgiven

Forgiven

I have been going to the Sanctuary nearly every day.

Today I stepped off the veranda of the building where I work and stepped into a soft rainfall. Just a slight soft falling of rain as I walked to the Temple.

Today I entered and walked mindfully the long passageway to the front holiest of holies in the silent empty sanctuary. I walked slowly and deliberately. I was aware of every movement of my legs and behind as I made my way to the front. The sound of my shoes on the floor reverberated and seemed to bounce off the walls as I made my way slowly.

As I reached the end of the aisle I stood beneath the grand archway and stood under the bright lighting in the otherwise dimly lit temple. I lifted my face upward and with eyes closed felt the warmth of light pouring down on me. I suddenly was filled with the sense of being forgiven. I am forgiven. I stood with my eyes closed and absorbed the light that surrounded and filled me.

I stood silently, alone, keeping my eyes closed. I saw myself being lifted up. Angels attended me. They dressed me in many layers of soft sheer white. I am clothed in flowing white. I feel my purity in the symbolism of being draped in white. I am floating, dancing even. I saw myself dancing beautifully and gracefully and artfully in a small white leotard, then being draped once again in the long flowing white layers after the dance. I am happy here.

I remained standing in the auditorium, simply standing with eyes closed and face turned upward.

Words of a poem began to form…

Imbedded in a question is the answer that it seeks.
Inherent in the illness is the cure sought by the weak
Um…um…uh…ah…
Present in my failing is forgiveness before I ask…

My forgiveness is woven into the very fabric of my failure… I will have to come back to the writing of that poem.

I was happy there. I would have remained. But the words came to me that I have more work to do. I must come back down. But...I am forgiven…

I opened my eyes, turned around, and walked back to my job.

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