Thursday, March 10, 2005

a separate Self

Every day and each year, I look into the mirror and see an older person reflected back to me. How quickly and how easily it seems I have become the age I have become. How did it happen so fast?

And yet, no matter what I see in the mirror, and no matter in what ways my body may feel and respond differently as time continues, the truth is on the inside I do not feel any older than I felt at any other age. I am the same person on the inside. On the inside it doesn’t feel different at 47 than it felt at 18. I am separate from the age of my body. My real person is not about the age or condition of my body. Part of my body can be ill, or I could lose a part of my body, and my person remains intact (someone with an arm missing or a breast removed is the same complete person she was before the loss). My person is separate from the age or condition of my body.

In the same way, my Spirit is not about the actions or conditions of my person. My Spirit is whole and complete and pure, regardless of my mistakes and imperfections. This is the Part that is constant, that is always Present, that is my Soul. I want to choose actions and create conditions that support my Soul and honor mySelf in the highest position. And yet, regardless of my stumbling or fumbling or even of my unconsciousness, my Spirit is whole and complete and pure.

There is a Part of me that is unwounded, unaffected by my life as it has played out, unhurt by what has happened to me or what I have done. If my attention is on the wounds or on the wounding, I am in pain. If my attention is on my pure unwounded Self, I am strong and in no pain. My work, then, is to attend to this Spirit, my true Self, and not to indulge in living and re-living my own wounding.

I give thanks to God for who I really am...

~ anyway, these are the things i was thinking as i was driving down 16th street today.

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