Monday, January 16, 2006

bad dreams

i was having a very difficult time, struggling with feeling strongly supported and feeling falling apart back and forth and all mixed together. during this difficult time my two beautiful grandchildren came to visit and i took great joy in them. once they fell asleep in my bed, however, i suddenly felt the weight of my internal crisis and couldn't sleep. i left the room and spent several hours tossing and turning in my struggle and found sleep only many hours later. exhausted when my granddaughter awakened early the next morning, i said, "sweetie, i had kind of a bad night and i need to try to get a little more sleep."

she lovingly asked me, "did you have a bad dream?"

not wanting to reveal anything more to her i replied, "yes, something like that."

then it suddenly hit me. she was right. i was having a bad dream. this Dream, this Illusion of my own myth, of the perceived world around me, had turned into a bad Dream instead of the Consciousness of my Truth. i had become lost in my perceived loss and had forgotten the Truth of my holiness, of my being supported and loved and wanted by the Universe. i was having a bad dream.

i didn't go back to sleep but instead it came to me to breathe the world around me, the room and the furniture and the children, look at them and touch them and feel them and breathe them, that i might come back to my ownSelf. as i increased my awareness of everything around me, the pain inside me softened and my world began to right itself.

it works the same if i have been told i've lost my job, if i have been given a negative medical diagnosis, if i have lost someone dear to me. breathe the world around me until my perceptions have an opportunity to become right side up. anguish is a misperception; loss is an illusion. our Truth is wholeness, perfection, and connection with God. i thank God for finding my way back.

and i thank God for little girls who know we all have bad dreams.

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