Tuesday, January 31, 2006

the price of doing

i was sick for nearly a week. exhaustion befell me and i then fell into sore throat, sneezing, runny nose and congestion. i knew i became sick in large part due to "overdoing" it. during the night one night i awakened to a spiritual lesson. i must become more aware of the choices i make in how i spend my time. in the same way i constantly make decisions about spending money, acknowledging the price versus value of everything i buy, and the way i choose what to eat and drink in relation to what my body needs, i must increase my awareness of what i do with my energy. everything i do in the physical world carries a price of energy. some of the things i do are life-giving and some are life-taking, but all of them cost energy. even breathing costs me some of my energy to inhale and exhale. it just so happens the energy cost of breathing nets greater energy, so it is a price i am happy to pay.

everything i do costs energy. everything i see and everything i hear costs energy. random behavior, whether it confirms or pulls me from my path, carries a price. a thought costs energy. a worried thought costs more energy. the cost of an angry thought costs even deeper energy. expectation has a cost. stimulation has a pretty high cost in using my energy. if i go to my mailbox, the act requires physical energy (albeit small). receiving mail might bring stimulation that requires more energy even if i am unaware of it. if i find nothing there, possible disappointment costs more energy. therefore, how often i expose myself to stimulation or expectation determines my level of energy required, which then affects my level of stress. stress compounds price so everything then begs deeper energy. we seem to be especially unaware of the energy spent in thinking and feeling, and in seeing, smelling, and tasting the world around us.

a busy life, a noisy life, a cluttered life, requires much energy. doing too much, following too many paths, being pulled into too many directions...this is a price i was paying and my body became ill. what a wonderful wake-up call. and now, let me be ever more conscious in where i put my energy and how i spend my time.

photography by permission cindy lee jones

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