Sunday, February 26, 2006

i cry for the beauty of my own deepening; i am humbled by grace given me. that i, who understood so little, who was so deeply unaware, should come to drink of such rich waters, i weep for so great a gift.

it often grieves me that i am bereft of sufficient voice, that i struggle to convey in my writing even a shadow of the Light provided my path. like an artist whose attempts to draw the majesty of a mountain fall so short of its grandeur, i capture barely a hint of Truths opening to me. i taste, i feel, i sense a thing and struggle to find words that adequately represent it, and yet for its need in the world i will spend my days (and many of my nights) working toward this end. better a shadow of Truth than no representation at all.

my previous humble words attempting to describe the flow of life, of our need to become emptied to be filled, have lingered with me for days, taking me into greater depths. how quickly, how desperately we seek to fill any sense of emptiness, be it with alcohol or nicotine or sugar or sex or any number of satisfactions and illusions and opinions. yet touching that emptiness is perhaps our greatest opening to the Universe. and our path to being the most pure vessel possible for the Universe to flow through us calls for our ability to continue to become emptied, calls for our courage to touch this.

even now i know not all that i know but i seek to live true to that i do.

my commitment to eating mindfully is bleeding into other parts of my life. perhaps it is that one practice lived deeply and fully builds a bridge to deepening every other one. my increasing ability to be fully with my food is taking me to greater ability to be fully with the rest of life. and so it should be so.

my commitment to you is to bring to you as fully as possible, as much as lieth within me, the gifts that are given me. and i submit to you the best i have to give...

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