Sunday, February 05, 2006

intention

i try to look beneath everything i do and identify my intention. in obvious things as well as subtle ones i answer what is my intention behind my behavior. like choosing what to write here and how to craft my words, is my intention to impress you? to share with you something that moves me? to teach you? to learn something for myself? to put into form what i am learning that i may be more sure of it still? to practice writing? an attempt to be heard or understood? some combination of several of these things? or am i doing what i do because i am directed by a Higher Source?

when i am about to say something to someone (or sometimes after it's already been said) i look for my intention and i am completely honest with myself (what good would it be were i not to be?). when i look for intention i am as honest as i can possibly be about what underlies the action and i try to make no judgment on my observation. sometimes i accept my intention and continue the chosen act (like occasionally when i realize my intention to impress someone, though i then have to ponder my need to impress) and other times recognition of the intention causes me to end my choice to act (for example when i recognize my intention is some form of defense).

sometimes when i identify an intention i go deeper and find another still.

i am beginning to know myself. and i am beginning to live ever-increasing depths of integrity.

this is hard work and sometimes even now i still forget.

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