Saturday, February 04, 2006

what is love...

a fellow blogger, chai anyone?, posed the question "what is love?" and her challenge intrigued me, set me to exploring within myself what it is that happens inside that i then call "loving" another. what do i feel when i believe i feel love? what do i think it means when i say "i love you"? this has opened my explorations on love (i welcome your own thoughts in your comments).

i couldn't rush my answer but rather spent a couple of days pondering your question. i found i needed to explore deeply and ever more deeply what love really means inside me. i feel this...

infatuation, desire, addiction, need...sometimes are wrapped in the garments of "love" and sometimes even "love" gets covered by them.

in seeking my answer to you i explored and discovered i could not define love as "wanting to be with someone (though often i want to be with someone i love)," "identifying with someone (i felt identifying with someone is a big part of love)," "admiring, respecting, truly deeply liking who and what someone is and how he lives his life"...because i could recognize in my life loving someone without that corresponding belief or emotion. i explored more deeply.

i knew i had different kinds of love (love for a friend, for a teacher, for a relative, for a child, for a lover) and i knew my definition had to fit every expression of love. i also knew of the people i love, there are some i am closer to and want to spend time with more than i do others so love seems to have varying degrees and levels. i looked at all the people i love and challenged myself to find the underlying truth in every one of the relationships.

i landed on this...

for me, love is acceptance. purely, truly accepting another. i can love someone (accepting her) and agree with everything about her, or i can love someone (accepting her) even if i disagree with her. every instance of love in my life seems to be connected with acceptance.

the greater the acceptance, the deeper and richer the love.

i do not claim to be right. these are merely my beginning thoughts on defining love. if my thoughts are errant, however, i will claim that love undeniably brings acceptance...

thank you, chai, for presenting me a probing question and for pushing me to discover deeper things about my own feelings...

photography by permission cindy lee jones


Chai Anyone? said...

you are very welcome :)

Premadasa said...

Love is a song
Deep withing your heart

Love is a feeling
Of never being apart

Love is a gentle breeze
At times a burning fire

Love is a paradox
It often sprouts desire

Love is our greatest need
It is our salvation

Love turned upside down
Brings instead damnation

Love is a broken heart
It reaps great sorrow

Love can never be lent
Nor can one borrow

Love are the stories
That Grandma once told

Love are the sweet memories
For eternity to hold

Love is the tough teacher
That will beat you dry

Love is the mother
That suckles you when you cry

Love is like a fountain
It needs to be set free

Love is like a river
Merging with the sea

Love is a circle
No beginning no end

Love is the tears
When two hearts mend

Love is fire
When hearts ignite

Love is sex
When souls unite

Love is humor
Laughter and jest

Love is simply God
In human manifest