becoming conscious

drawn to the light
i struggle
to become conscious
and wrestle more
to remain so

coming into consciousness
is an eden
and yet how easy it is
to slip into unconscious ways

my efforts
not only to progress
are to hold dear
what has been opened unto me

i am saddened sometimes
when my mirror reflects
a moment of too little awareness
and yet that moment of recognizing
my own unconscious ways
seems in itself to make me less so

perhaps consciousness
like humility
the more i realize i don't have
the more i begin to have

then, too
the question begs an answer
how conscious is conscious
to be considered such

upon awakening
with consciousness stirring
can one be called so
or only fully into being
is one to claim his place

(am i become a swimmer
when i barely know one stroke
am i only so when i know all there is to know
…or is it somewhere in between)

it seems to me
my own consciousness
is not about how long i have been here
or how much of it i might possess
but that i am here this moment
and that i do it again
each moment in time